The Setting Goals PitfallZoran
Until my now 8 year old son Luka was born, whatever I wanted I just set a goal by writing it down on a piece of paper, and at the end of the year I just crossed it with a pen. My sense of satisfaction due to achieving them did not last very long, so I immediately set a new goal. And a new one. As a result, a sense of satisfaction lasted shorter and shorter.
Few years after my son was born, my life as I knew it until then fell apart, so I did not want to set any more goals, telling myself why bother at all when nothing is as if I want it to be. I had a feeling I never got what I wanted, anyway. Yes, many times I received an even better results than I could have ever imagined, but actually rarely what I wanted. So why bother setting a goal and wanting something when we must be happy no matter what, regardless of accomplishing goals we set, I thought.
In addition, trust me it is easy to feel depressed when you have no goal to look forward to.
Yes, it is about the journey, not the goal. Who we become on that journey that is what is important, not whether we achieve a goal or not.
What I also learned was that it is important to enjoy the journey to our goals, otherwise we will mess it all up e.g. if we want to lose some weight, we must choose food and excercise we love as a way of life and a way to our goal. Because if we don’t enjoy the journey we will not enjoy the goal as well. This is the way to be detached from results … we want something, we take action, we enjoy the process to achieve it, and actually it doesn’t matter whether we achieve it or not, because we are already enjoying the journey. In addition, we are happy no matter what.
In addition, as said the way, the journey to our goal is what transforms us.
So on my way from setting goals like crazy and not setting them at all I would recommend three techniques I like the most:
- Vision board – take pictures you like, photos that symbolize things you want to achieve, make a board from it and look at it from time to time
- Three questions – What do you want to experience, how do you want to grow, and how do you want to contribute?
- The Bucket list – make a list of things you want to do, see, have before you die. Hello from Jordan, the city of Petra was so worth it to be on my bucket list.
- Set a goal that you really want, not should and must but WANT
- Choose and enjoy the journey. Remember the journey is the purpose, be happy regardless whether you achieve a goal or not, because being happy is a choice that you can make now, no matter how your outside circumstances look like.
Enjoy your goals and your journey. And of course, in the person you transform into on your way to them.